They say...
They say I should put you down, child. That I should teach you to sleep by yourself. Maybe they’re right. But here’s what I know to be true. Sometimes the night is too long. And when it is, I want you to remember the feeling of being held, of being rocked. I want you to remember child, you don’t face the night alone.
They say I shouldn’t fuss about what you eat as much as I do. It won’t matter in another couple years, they say, when fast food is a regular part of your diet. And I know they’re right, child, I do. But here’s the thing. This little body of yours is perfect. I made it with my own, and I can’t stop marveling at it. In all the infinity of things that could be wrong, somehow you are all right. So you can eat whatever your belly desires one day. But for now, at least for now, child, I’m going to give you what is best.
They say I shouldn’t let you sleep with us. They say once you’re here, you’ll never leave our bed. And this, child, this I find funny. I want to respond, “Promise?!” Sure, I am tired. I do not sleep well, and my back? Oh my back is all sorts of a mess as I bend my body to make a nest for your rest. But the truth is, child, you will leave our bed. And you’ll leave our home. And you’ll soar into this world to do your own things and make your own wild life. And so for now, for as long as you want, child, our place of rest can be yours too.
They say I should let you cry more. I shouldn’t coddle as much. Perhaps, child. Perhaps they’re right. But in this life you’re just beginning, you’re going to find reason to cry. Oh I could cry just thinking about it. And so, for now, when your reasons for tears are tiny things I have the power to fix, well child, I’ll fix them. I’ll always fix them. I’ll do whatever I can to protect you from the hurting things, because there is so much I can’t protect you from. And sure child, I know that tempering your tears now won’t keep the hard things from hurting. But it might help you know you’re loved. And if you know you’re loved, well child, everything else doesn’t seem quite so hard.
They say so many things, child. And so many of them are right. But you, child, you were born to me. And as long as I’m your mama, I’m going to hold you too long, and fuss over your food, and let you sleep in our bed, and try to hush your cries. And perhaps I’m doing all of it wrong. And surely you’ll resent me for some of it. But forever and ever I will try my best to make the hard things a little better. And when I can’t, child. When you’re living your own wild, beautiful life and I’m just a little too far away, I pray, child, (and this is the most important part) I pray you know that this is true- that God is there, fussing about you in all the ways that I would. She will make a new morning after your long nights, and feed you with what you need to feed others, and will be your place of rest, and will wipe those tears away.
They say a lot of things child. And most of them are right. But I’m your mama.
