Why? - Good Friday Meditation, 2023
Of all the worship services I attended as a child,
it was always this one I remembered.
It was the lights, the candles, the somber music -
- just enough drama to keep my young self engaged.
I can remember wondering then,
as children are prone to do - why?
I understood the story,
I knew what this night was about.
But I didn’t understand why.
Why was it, that Jesus had to die?
If I’m honest, I’m still asking this question.
Perhaps I’m not alone.
And now as a mom myself, I wonder in new ways -
What will I tell my child,
when this wondering becomes his own?
The answers I received
never really satisfied.
Jesus died because of our sin, we say.
But at however old I was, what sin was really mine?
Our theology would say
that we carry it from birth.
Our sin, original.
Depravity, our curse.
These things were never meant to hurt,
that’s what those of our tradition profess.
Jesus died because of sin,
an equation that somehow equals forgiveness.
But in all my life it’s been the case
that “sin” has been used as a kind of weapon.
It’s used to say who’s in and who’s out,
instead of describing our human condition.
So I have to wonder here and now,
if maybe we have it wrong.
Perhaps the melody is true,
but we need new words to this song.
Because in all the theology I’ve learned,
all the books by smart men I’ve read,
there is something that feels untrue here,
things we must rethink, before we pass it down again.
Sin had to be the answer,
when power taught and ruled the day.
They had to teach us we were flawed,
so their answers could be our only way.
Surely we were sinful.
A sin as old as humans ourselves.
It began with Eve and that apple,
and through her we all fell.
Of course it had to be Eve,
with her womanly, wildly ways.
As if it’s not our nature to reach,
as if God didn’t create us this way.
And if Eve hadn’t eaten that fruit,
then who would we be?
Unknowing, vulnerable, afraid?
Hum, perhaps that’s how power wanted us to stay.
But as I read the story,
sin doesn’t lead us here at all.
I don’t believe our God of love
made us just to fall.
A loving parent wouldn’t, couldn’t,
set up their child just to stumble.
They would know the fall is coming,
catch the child,
warn of coming trouble.
The way I read our story now
there was no fall,
there is no curse.
Eve and Adam just grew up,
God sent them into the world with warning,
tried to tell them where it might hurt.
So what then, is this night all about?
If kids ask, what would I tell them now?
Child, I would say,
this is a story about love.
This is a story of love
that wants always for you to know,
not how flawed you are,
but just how far it would go.
Child, you are not perfect,
but that’s never been the point.
You were made of holy breath and stardust,
you were created to reach and reach for joy.
And the God who made you,
that God knew it would be easy to turn away.
So God was born as human,
to live like us and show us the way.
But Child, here’s the hard part -
death had to be part of this story too.
Because there are things that lurk in this world,
evils bound to tempt both me and you.
Those evils are as old as the story itself,
things like empire and violence and war.
Those evils find a hold in our world,
and can trick us into trusting them more.
But here’s the thing, Child,
these evils are bigger than your individual sin.
These evils are collective,
a reality of this world we live in.
Our work then is always
to resist the empire’s pull.
To call out injustice,
and demand equity for all.
Why did Jesus have to die?
The empire couldn’t, wouldn’t let him live.
That’s why.
The powers then and now were threatened by his work.
He preached of love and shared with all,
he said humanity, not status, is what gives us worth.
But power depends on status,
the empire needs hierarchy to exist.
Some must have little,
for the rich to persist.
Now, we’re entangled with this empire,
in more ways than we know . . .
We participate with our silence.
We too often choose violence.
The votes we cast result in war.
We find ourselves pledging allegiance,
thinking this is what we’re for.
And Child, you are not flawless,
neither am I and that will always be true.
But you were made by a God who named you good,
and no matter how you stumble,
that God has work for you to do.
And here is what I wish I knew,
when I wondered this same way.
The empire flourishes, when I wallow in my flaws.
If I believe myself unworthy, I will live that way.
Power told us this story was all about our sin.
It needed us to examine our hearts,
so we wouldn’t examine this world we’re in.
So let me tell you, Child -
your savior died on that cross,
to reveal the empire as it is,
to show what evil looks like,
so you won’t get lost.
God loves you so much
God needed you to know,
all the dangers possible here,
the lengths God’s love is willing to go.
Why did Jesus have to die?
For the same reason kids are gunned down in their schools,
and our borders fill with refugees, begging to get in.
For the same reason homelessness is common
and food insecurity too prevalent to know where to begin.
Because the empire thrives on our division.
Because evil depends on our complicity.
Because we’ve chosen economics
over equity.
Because all of it is confusing,
and the empire depends on us losing our way.
It hopes we won’t fully see,
needs us to get stuck in the day to day.
From the cross Jesus said -
Behold! This is the worst they can do!
And Sunday you will see
the silliness of it all,
why it’s love, not empire, you must give your life to.
So feed the hungry,
give the homeless somewhere to sleep.
Affirm the humanity of trans kids,
fight for Black lives to be able to breathe.
Invite the queer community,
open wide your doors for refugees.
Prioritize creation over convenience,
care for the poor as you would care for me.
Get rid of the guns.
Get rid of the guns.
Get rid of the guns.
Cherish your children
more than your weapons,
the kingdom is made for these.
So Child, it’s not because of you,
but it is up to you.
To pick up the work Jesus began
and carry it all the way through.
Why did Jesus have to die?
Because this…this is all the empire knows how to do.
It’s hoping you’ll be scared enough to not see the truth.
Hoping you’ll pledge your allegiance, pick your side,
instead of living the plans God has for you.
So your sin?
Sure, it’s there.
As present as your freckles,
and extra pounds,
and knobby knees.
But the God who wove you together
didn’t make you to suffer for these.
For Child, you are original,
and your sin? It is not.
The God who called you into being
loves you,
this is the part our tradition forgot.
Being afraid of a wrathful God
may prevent you from going certain ways.
But being aware that you are held in love?
That’s where freedom is found to fully live Christ’s way.
So keep seeking out your answers,
look and wonder, ask and pursue.
If you’re not satisfied, keep going,
there is nowhere you can wander,
where God isn’t with you.
Sin had to be the answer,
when power taught and ruled the day.
They had to teach us we were flawed,
so their answers could be our only way.
Oh but Child, you might not even notice,
but we are living in new days.
The shackles that used to bind us,
they don’t you fit the same way.
It’s up to you to seek new freedom.
Up to you to welcome more.
It’s up to you to tell the story,
to remind those the Church has hated
just what God made them for.
So Child, don’t forget,
you are made of holy breath and endless hope.
No matter your sin or stumbling,
this is the night Jesus promised, love will always be your home.
Because if the cross reveals anything
its that love will always win.
The empire did it’s worst,
and we’re still here,
to tell the story, and begin again.
